When Sheila Miller lost her husband of 53 years to cancer, she turned her grief into a way to help others. From her Yorkana home, she wrote "Through Life and Death: A Caregiver's Journey and Practical Guide for Navigating a Loved One's End-of-Life," blending her personal story with guidance for those facing similar struggles.

"The book was God-given," Sheila said. "I had no intentions of writing a book. I just wanted to document the different events throughout my husband's cancer journey. I wanted to document it so that as time went on, I didn't forget. It was also a form of grief therapy."

Her husband Gordon's battle began in July 2022, when a silent heart attack during a trip to Reno, Nev., led to tests that uncovered a lung tumor. A biopsy revealed stage 4 melanoma.

"He decided to do immunotherapy because they said chemotherapy would make him sick," Sheila shared, noting that the tumor was inoperable, and Gordon was given six months to live if he did nothing. Gordon made it through two of his four treatments before the side effects became too debilitating and his health declined.

By January of 2023, he needed a cane to get around. By February, he used a walker. In March, he needed a wheelchair and by April, he was confined to a hospital bed. Gordon passed away on May 4, 2023, at the age of 75.

During Gordon's illness, Sheila focused all of her energy on helping him.

"I became a full-time caregiver overnight," she said. "He needed help to do everything." She knew what she was getting into, having cared for her father before he passed away from colon cancer in the '90s.

She lovingly devoted her time and energy to Gordon's care, and after he died, she sat down one day at her computer.

"I just started typing, putting down words, and before I knew it, I had pages and pages," she said. She wrote most mornings and began working seriously on the book in early 2024 before finishing it in May of 2025.

"I call it my 19-month pregnancy," she said with a laugh. "Once I was not receiving any more inspirations as to topics or even just a sentence, I figured, 'Now the book is finished.'"

Sheila relied on advice from her friend and mentor Joan Patterson and also joined the Lancaster Christian Writers for critiques and guidance. She contacted an editor at her friend's suggestion, submitting the first few chapters and a query letter.

"I knew it could take up to eight weeks for an editor to agree to take you on," she said. "Eight hours after I submitted the book, my editor accepted it."

Sheila self-published the book and credits her sister-in-law, Marian Miller, as well as Gordon's twin brother, Gregory, who live next door to her, for their guidance. She also relied on help from her daughter, Sandy Filbert, and her mentor Patterson with supporting her along the way.

It was Patterson who suggested Sheila write an appendix in the book, full of tips and helpful terminology.

"That's where the 'practical' part of the book's title comes from," Sheila said of the seven-page appendix. "I wanted this to be a resource book as well as sharing my story."

Although this is the first book Sheila has written, she doesn't expect it to be her last.

"You never know," she said. "If I get inspired, I'll write. It has to be something I'm passionate about or the words won't come easily."

She is hoping to host some local book signings, but in the meantime, her book is available on Amazon and for Kindle as an e-book. People may also contact Sheila by searching for "Sheila Leader Miller" on Facebook to order a book.

She noted that she already went through her first shipment of books and will soon order a second shipment. She's received lots of positive feedback from readers.

"I have heard from men who have read it and say they can't put it down," she shared. "Several people have said, 'Oh my gosh, I needed so many Kleenex reading this.'"

Still, she emphasized that the book is not completely sad.

"There is humor in the book," she said. "It might be dark humor, but it's there."

There is also a spiritual component to the book, and Sheila hopes Gordon's story will serve as spiritual inspiration for readers. Her pastor, Jason Guillaume of Christ Church in Yorkana, was instrumental in the book's process, Sheila said.

A portion of the book's sales will be donated to Servants Inc., a nonprofit that's important to the Millers.

"Gordon and I volunteered for their summer work camp for eight years, and I've done three more camps since he passed," Sheila said, noting that volunteers from Servants Inc. installed a ramp at her home for Gordon. "I want the book to be a way to give back to them as well."