Etiquette is associated with manners. Etiquette is related to words and actions and behavior. Etiquette is connected to decorum, tradition and social standards.

But etiquette is also about respect for others and respect for oneself.

Annie Ahm Hartley is a certified etiquette consultant.

"It really is all about respect; respecting people's space, experiences, opinions and comfort levels, even respecting the effort someone put into creating an experience," said Hartley. "Something as simple as dressing appropriately for an event can be a form of respect.

"Respect for ourselves matters too," Hartley continued. "The way we present, communicate and carry ourselves sends a message before we ever speak. I think a lot of people assume etiquette is about impressing others, but I think it's more about knowing what to do so you can relax and be yourself."

Not only is etiquette a passion and way of life for Hartley, it's also her business. As a certified etiquette consultant, she provides private lessons and conducts student programs and corporate trainings.

As part of her instruction, Hartley teaches social confidence, listening skills, communication skills, kindness, executive presence, professional dining and international protocol.

"People are usually surprised by how much of etiquette is really communication and confidence," said Hartley, a resident of Manheim Township. "Most people are not coming because they desperately want to master which fork to use. They want to feel comfortable in real-life situations. You can be incredibly smart and talented, but if you struggle to connect with people or communicate well, it becomes a lot harder to build relationships and opportunities."

Although it has evolved over time, etiquette is as old and traditional as human interaction. Each culture defines etiquette in its own distinctive way, but the world can never have too much of it.

"Etiquette has never really changed," said Hartley. "Kindness, respect, consideration, those things are timeless. What's changed is the world around us. We now have texting, social media, Zoom meetings, workplace culture - all these things previous generations never had to think about. I think modern etiquette is much less about memorizing rules and much more about understanding people and making them feel comfortable. But etiquette evolves as society evolves."

About seven years ago, Hartley became certified to teach etiquette through formal training at the Etiquette Institute in St. Louis, the Charleston School of Protocol and Etiquette and the International Association of Professional Etiquette Consultants. Her education has been enhanced by books and real-life experiences.

"I first learned at home," said Hartley. "My mother was the epitome of hospitality and hosting. When I first started, I was nervous. I wasn't sure if people would see etiquette as something they truly wanted or needed. What surprised me was realizing people weren't looking for perfection. They were looking for confidence. That changed how I teach."

Among Hartley's favorite etiquette-related words are courtesy, consideration and respect.

"People are more connected than ever digitally and somehow less comfortable socially at the same time," said Hartley. "We're all busy, constantly multitasking and moving from one thing to the next. Sometimes it feels like we're rushing through interactions instead of really being in them. Etiquette is not about perfection or pretending to be somebody you're not. It's about making people feel comfortable, including yourself."

For additional information, go to http://www.lancasteretiquette.com.